Before we had kids, Chris and I are involved in various ministries {teaching Sunday School, leading small groups, helping with facility team, leading worship, greeting/ care ministry, and serving as deacon} at church. Almost every week we have to come to church early. When Max was born, I stopped volunteering for a little while then slowly got back to the regular ministries.
'Till one day: I was teaching Children Choir and Chris has to help cleaning the church after service and no one was available to watch Max who was then only 6 months old. That night Chris and I had a long talk and we agreed on two "Guardrails" {We didn't call it Guardrails at that time. I came up with that word after listening to Andy Stanley podcast }:
1. Either one of us has to be available to take care of the kid(s)
2. We have to ask each other before accepting any new appointment, commitment or responsibilities, which involve our family.
Looking back, those two agreements have helped us in making decision in many situations and strengthen our trust, respect, and appreciation of each other.
At this season of life with two young kids
a. We no longer volunteer at the homeless shelter because Chris work on Saturday. So what we do instead is when we bake something, we bake extra and share with our next door neighbors, homeless on the street, and so on.
b. I no longer lead worship service or coordinate children choir but I lead worship every morning at home.
c. We no longer serve as greeters at church but we sometimes invite new comers or any family for dinner at our home.
d. At this season, we may not be able to go out for mission trips but we can support others who go or sponsor children in need. Max's teachers set a great example for us when she share that ever since her three kids are old enough, they start to go on summer mission trip together as family.
e. We may not be able to join the church's prayer meeting but we still can pray together as family after all Jesus told us it only takes 2-3 people.
What we learned is having small kids does not mean we stop serving but we serve differently.
A little while ago I listened to one of Francis Chan's messages on youtube. I forgot which one but there he shared that his wife, Lisa is a very gifted woman. Earlier on their marriage, when Francis was called to plant a church, his wife was offered a recording contract. She turned it down, however, because she knew that if she pursued it then she won't be able to support Francis with what God called him to do.
Although that's all that Francis' shared, the story didn't just end there. A few weeks ago Fonda wrote a blog post about their daughter: Rachel who became singer/ song writer. Fonda wrote: "Despite being young, all the lyrics reflect a sense of security in her identity in Christ. The songs also talk about friendship, boys, uncertain future, peer pressure in an honest way - all in light of who she is in Christ."
Lisa didn't end up being a recording artist but instead she become her husband biggest supporter and mother of their 5 children. As Francis Chan said, he won't be able to do what he does and there won't be Cornerstone Church if it wasn't because of her.
I want to close this post with this quote:
"A mother impact is irreplaceable and necessary to the spiritual formation of children who will be the future adults of the next generation. Fun, comfort, humor, graciousness, spiritual passion, compassion for the lost, hospitality, chores, meals, training, life-giving words, hours and hours of listening and playing and praying and reading—all are parts of the mosaic which go into the process of soul development.
Moms, God is calling us to a work that is quite important–He will give us the strength and supply us with wisdom one day at a time. He will listen to our prayers. But most of all, we have to be willing to bend over backwards to meet needs and to encourage and to figure out a new game plan, because we are His guard in a fallen, tempting world; we are His hands and words of comfort and wisdom; and we are His voice to tell our children that we love them and believe in them, even in the midst of their immaturity. May He give grace to each of you today!" Sally Clarkson
He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30
