I'll be adding this to my list of favorite marriage books. Chris and I have been married for almost 10 years so I thought I understand enough about men but I really didn't. I found myself saying, "Really?," "Ooo now I know!" often as I read this book.
The author gathered professional surveys and interviewed hundreds of men before writing this book with one goal: for women to better understand the men in our lives and better support and love them in the way they need to be loved.
Some important points that she shared in the book:
* Men need unconditional respect. Women often break down and cry when they are in a conflict but anger is often a man's response to feeling disrespected.Just as our men can choose to demonstrate love toward us even if they don't feel it at the moment
1. Respect his judgment by stop question or argue with their decisions all the time.
2. Respect his abilities!
3. Respect in communication: Some things just push a man's buttons. This goes beyond what we say-and into how we say it.
4. Respect in public even when he's absent
5. Respect in our assumption
*Affirm Him; don't tear him down!
Just as we love to hear "I love you," a man's heart is powerfully touched by a the simple words: "I'm so proud of you."
When a man is affirmed, he can conquer the world. When he's not, he is sapped of his confidence and even his feeling of manhood. And, he will, see out places where he receives affirmation.
*Most men feel powerful when they provide, And they want to be depended on. Providing is a primary way for they to say, "I love you."
Let's help relieve some of their pressure by:
a. Pray for them; Cast our cares for provision on the Lord rather than on our men
b. Refuse to spend money unnecessarily
c. Encourage and appreciate him!
*For men, playing together is very romantic. One guy explained: Most married men don't want to abandon their wife to do guy things. They want to do "guy things" with their wife. If you see a woman out playing golf with her husband, I guarantee that all the other guys are jealous.
S*x play a HUGE role in a man's self-confidence.
A man can be having a horrible time at work or else where - but if his wife wants him physically and affirms him, he can handle the rest of the world no problemo.
*The effort we put into our appearance is extremely high on his priority list. When we take care of ourselves, they feel loved.
*One thing that our man MOST wishes we knew about him (I was very surprised when I read this): How much I love and appreciate her.
I highly recommend this book. I don't have it by the way but our local library does :)
