Learning to make wise/ responsible decision
One of the hardest things for parents to do is to give their children the opportunity to make choices that may not turn out well. Helping children learn through making both right and wrong decisions is the only way to learn habit of decision making. Our natural instinct is to make excuses, complain about injustice, or blame someone else.
Communicating Effectively
Teach the children respectful adult communication. Four keys sentences:
a. I feel..., I want ....,
b. I am sorry. I was wrong.
c. I need help.
d. I don't know.
Concentrating on Focus
Lack of self-management skills is part and parcel of the problems children face in developing the learning habit of concentrated focus. Using time-limited tasks is reassuring to children; it's easier to concentrate if you know you don't have to do it for very long.
Use effort based praise such as "Good concentration, I see how hard you play, you were such a good sport today." Catch your kids doing something right and appreciate it make your child feel valued and encouraged.
For rewards to work, they have to be immediately follow the event you want to reinforce; they need to be small, so that you can use them frequently. For instance, having snack only after they put away their toys; screen time only after their practice piano or finish their homework, etc.
Set up your child's study area to be distraction free, with no media. You are nearby but not interacting, during homework time.
Because of their limited capacity for self-regulation, teens and children are susceptible to internet addiction and sleep deprivation.
Some example of focus boot camp rules:
a. A media-free bedroom
b. Borrow books from the library
c. Limit media/ gadget time to 1 hour or less as a reward when homework and chores are done.
d. Set alarm, get themselves up and ready for breakfast.
e. Spend a certain amount for instance 60 minutes on homework at the same time every day. If the child doesn't have homework have them do some reading.
f. Practice relaxation techniques and positive self-talk when anxious or frustrated.
Breathing/ calming techniques
You will say the following:
Close your house. {you have to close yours, too and every steps along with your child}
Take a big breath in through your nose - make it as big as you can and push it all the way down into your belly.
Put your hand on your belly, and feel it fill up.
Hold your breath for three seconds.... one, two, three...
and blow it out through your mouth really hard. Try to get it all out.
Repeat the exercise seven or eight times.
Developing Grit: the ability to resist momentary distractions and temptations in order to reach a goal. Grit is living life like a marathon, not like a sprint.
The ability to focus on personal goals - short term of long-term requires children to block distractions, deny themselves immediate enjoyable activities, and complete the task.
Being involved in athletic teaches children an abundance of good habits: teamwork, goal-setting, persistence, showing up, comfort with social interaction, focus, and the ability to win and lose with grace.
Creating grit (the learning habit of self-reliance) requires hard work, determination, and a belief that continued practice is an effective way to build skills-over time.
Three component of grit:
a. Believe that you can attain your goal
b. Passion about your goal
c. The ability to recognize the "cost" of attaining your goal and doing it anyway.
The Learning Habit Study Results
Having a regular bedtime.
Checking a calendar or notebook to keep track of their schedule.
Consistent homework routines.
Participation in athletics, music, drama, or other club
Doing household chores regularly.
Making their beds regularly.
Wearing a watch
Keeping their possessions in order.
Not using media in their rooms after bedtime.
Falling asleep quickly
